Kirbaybay

Question someone asked via facebook : “Plus or minus if the guy you were dating has been in a fight before? Do you feel more secure? Be honest…”

Off the top answer:

“not that he’s been in a fight, but can hold his own and stand up for himself whether its emotionally, mentally, physically or spirituality. Any man that has been an internal fight with himself and won over to the light, Im down to be in his presence.. this means he has the strength, spirit, courage, humility, and steadfastness to overcome such test .. and at the very least is taking action. It inspires me to do the same for myself. Also lets me know that he wont depend on me to get over his own issues. I feel more secure that he has a firm, solid relationship with his Creator, if that is the true reason why he’s fighting in the first place.”
What do you think?

trapped and chained.

these are not longer words I use to describe my state.

This bird is free for the moment

to soar on high, high enough

to feel the heat of the Sun and allow it to penetrate my soul.

The clouds, which were once my calamity,

are now my resting place. 

I perch atop, not within.

I must remember, that the clouds never changed. 

I did.

What I saw once as my veil, I see as my protection.

My shelter and my support,

so I don’t fall back into temptation,

and succumb down to earth and its dust.

A part of me will always be hungry,

but it’s my decision of how I choose to feed myself.

This test feels like it’s of knowledge gained and how to deal or interpret it.  My whole heart was burning with longing to understand the feeling…the gaining of spiritual awareness.  It’s like I was connected to something beyond myself. 

I hear the constant sway of the trees as they dance with the wind. A blanket of snow covers the lovers and they sing a tune so recognizable to the Earth and to God, but often ignored by the ears of men.  Tonight I got a chance to witness such divinity as this.  And while these two lovers tango in the dark, all of a sudden the moon peeks out, as if to represent a spot light.  Now the dance is made public.  But still no one sees.  Yet I see. I feel the calling of the moon and I look, stunned by the beauty of this significance.  What is Baha’u’llah, she, perhaps Becky trying to tell me.  It’s as if I can hear the moon calling my name, speaking to me, but I do not have the wisdom to understand the language.  The Language of the Soul, of the Universe.  I’m blessed to be part of the simplicity of Life and to truly recognize another form of communication God uses to connect with His lovers.

Patience. Over time.  Years from now I will look back on this night with a new understanding.

Why?! I have to learn to trust myself, but what if I don’t know how to read it.  God help me to read it.  I yearn to understand my Soul.

What does he and she represent?  A mere kataylst for this intimate communion to take place. 

It’s not a happy tune they dance to but one of sorrow.  Are they crying out to their Beloved as well, praying that their life isn’t taken for granted by the hearts and minds of men? I pray these trees are protected from the destruction happening before their very eyes.

What if I’m not meant to get married? What if my capacity for understanding so great, that I as a woman, will never find the same capacity in a man who I’m also attracted to and the feeling is mutual.

A HEALER.  A modern day medicine woman, a witch doctor. What witch doctor was ever married?  Priesthood for women.

Since, from time to time I’ll be posting random writes and bits of poetry (if you have to label it that) I figure I’d start with one already shared over the world wide internet. 

Im a slave to this life and chained
to the fetters of this material world.
I struggle to free,
but gravity wont let me
and it pushes me back down,
with a sinister smile.

I fall for awhile until I can’t take the heat
and something beyond me
moves me to tears.

Everyday I cry tears.

but these tears have me to react
and come back to the light
so I fight my way up and come
closer and closer…

but every step I fall makes it harder to get closer.

Knowing that I may never make it, is the least of my concerns